Letter #40 07/13/15

Moral of the week, 

 sometimes God sends manna, other times he sends carne asada but he ALWAYS sends something. 

After this crazy incredible first week of absolute MIRACLES and beauty and happiness and joy and also lots of learning, it's only natural that Satan would creep in and make me feel anything but a desire to do the things that lead to us being successful, feeling peace in our hearts and loving people. 

I feel like my entire mission, (aside from being lots of really beautiful blessings and miracles without number, really) has been this giant battle between me and the adversary, between my hearts desire and my super weak flesh made weaker by his fiery darts.  That I don't want to, but I'm forced in some way to give him a place to grow in my heart and even when I repent and try to be better, the weeds just enter right back in. And that's not a very fun way to live, and also not a very accountable way to live, and oftentimes not a very effective way to do missionary work because when we feel down, the work is not going to magically go up. 

In other words, until this weekend, even this morning, I didn't really learn what The Lord actually meant when He told us that we were "free to choose". 

We can choose to be happy! We can choose to tell Satan to get behind us. We can decide to decide today that no matter what happens we will go to The Lord in prayer and be filled with peace. He's so incredible! And helps us to choose the better part when we let Him.

We saw lots of people this week choose lots of different things.

C, an investigator that has been coming to church, attending soccer every week, and reading in The Book of Mormon decided that he didn't really have a desire to know if this was true and that he was basically just done. And my heart was broken and I blamed myself, like if I had been a better missionary or something than he would continue to progress and I was sooooo bummed. We had fasted and prayed and role played and worked to receive revelation to help him, but in the end it was his choice and it obviously isn't his time, even though I wish with all my heart and soul that it was.

Also, we were so beautifully led to find this AWESOMELY prepared lady and her husband. We gave her a card, set up a return appt. with them and when we went back, she had searchedmormon.org late into the night, had all sorts of questions, and opened up to us that she had been feeling like something was missing. They grew up together in a church that has changed it's doctrine with a new pastor and they are really family oriented and everything was perfect. But when we went back for our return appointement, A met us at the door and told us that they were not interested and that we shouldn't come back. And.. okay, #ouch. Choices, ya know?

But, on a happy note! J, right? Hispanic hercules? We had a lesson with him at the church building and he dressed up because he read in the pamphlet that that's how we show respect when we go to church and he started crying during the OPENING SONG and told us about how he chose to not be mean to us like he does to everyone else that knocks on his door because he felt the same feeling that makes him cry during lessons when he saw us for the first time. He is completely choosing to let the spirit fill his life! It's incredible. 

But not ten minutes after the lesson with C a member called us to tell us that she was headed to our house with freshly baked bread. And also, our neighbor Al asked us to come over and read the scriptures with him and then ended our week with preparing little carne asada plates for us and it's the little things like that. I don't know lots of things, but I KNOW he loves us. And sometimes His tender mercies come in the form of food and beautiful angel people that are just so GOOD. I don't know if this email made any sense at all, but idk.Life's alright. And when we choose to let Him in, it's wonderful! :)

Love you all so mucho!

Hermana Yost

Letter #39 07/06/15

Becca and her new companion Sister McNeely

Let's just start of by saying that this week has
been the most changing week of my entire mission. First things first,
I received a package from the missionary stork- training will forever
be top 10 in my gratitude journal. The beauty is real! The baby's name
is Sister McNeely and she is a TROOPER. (From Layton, UT + cute as a
button + never stops smiling + such a good sport about not
understanding Spanish + will be translated soon enough..) Holy smokes.
She went (almost) the entire week without crying and I cry every
second so obviously Heavenly Father knows what He's doing by putting
us together.

Opposition was so apparent in all things this week. It was so
incredibly beautiful to witness the signs that Heavenly Father knows
us, loves us, and is waiting ever so anxiously to bless us. And He
DID. We were led and guided by His spirit to find and teach so many
incredibly prepared people! The Lord is hastening His work, in the
mission field and within each one of us. As we allow Him to take the
initiative, trusting more in him.

✨ 'Teaching the Hispanic Hercules the gospel truth' .. Close your eyes
and picture for just a split second the cartoon version of Hercules.
Now give him long dark locks, Hispanic skin tone, tribal tattoos and
tears streaming down His face as He feels the spirit for the first
time and you have our new investigator Jo. He has been searching
for the gospel of Jesus Christ for a really time and Satan has done
everything in His power to keep us from teaching him. Like, really,
we've had like 5 lessons fall through. But, finally, we got to teach
Him. I had felt really impressed the whole day that we should show him
the Mormon message 'The Hope of God's Light' and as we did, the spirit
enveloped all of us and I have never had a more powerful witness than
seeing a big strong man break down as He feels the love of His Father
in Heaven. That peace that comes from knowing your true worth, surpasses

all understanding.

     After 2 long hours of soapboxing in the public square, fairly

distraught, Sister McNeely and I go to search out some english humans who

want the gospel. It's pretty late, so not many apartments are lit but we just start

knocking. A lady names S opens the door. We obviously awoke her, so

she told us to come back the next day. We do, watch the Because of Him video

and no sooner had it ended then she tells us that she knows it is no coincidence.

That she has been searching for God's path and strength as she's been going 

through an incredibly hard time. As we read from Alma 7 together, seeking to

understand the Savior's atonement, made just for her, she felt that peace. The 

only thing that can truly be understood, amidst a life that doesn't really make sense.

     Not to mention Ch who had prayed for a sign from God if his family needed

to go back to church and 'the mormons' knock on His door. Reading 2 Nephi 26:33 

with an african american young man who didn't understand Christ's love, being 

interrupted by his minister neighbor who only wanted to fight, but feeling the spirit 

immediately enter in again as she left and we began again to speak of restored truth. 

     The peace that surpasseth all understanding.

     

     And then, yesterday, as we are tracting and run into a former member, disillusioned

by things he has read on the internet, and stand there. As he rails on Joseph Smith, on

the brainwashing that we are a part of, yelling at us to "study the bible" as we bear 

testimony and walk away. We sat down in the grass, Sister McNeely cried and I cried with 

her. But I wasn't discouraged. I was hopeful. I had been buoyed up all week by this peace 

that surpasseth all understanding. I have felt the power of His spirit. I have been 

privileged to be an instrument in His hand, and the things I don't understand, don't matter.

     His peace, His love. The hope of His atonement, grace and mercy surpass all knowledge and all understanding. I'm grateful. 

Letter #38 06/29/15

We were contacting a referral the other day and the lady's son answered the door. His name is R, he's 27, Puerto Rican by blood but New Yorker since birth, and a super special child of God. Not to mention he is like straight out of Seinfield. Anyways, we started talking about religion and the tough things he's going through in His life. As the conversation progressed, we testified of the love and awareness of His Heavenly Father. His eyes lit up. We asked him how he felt to know that God loved and knew Him, and he answered in a one word sermon, "thrilled". 

It really caused me to think of Alma's questioning in Alma 5:26 when he asks, "have ye felt to sing the song of redeeming love?" When we truly think about the reality of a God that knows us personally and loves us perfectly, it really is thrilling! When we understand and feel His redeeming love, we want nothing more than to sing it right on out! .. But then the follow up question, "can ye feel so now?" Does the gospel thrill us still? As we ride along the ups and downs of life, as we spend entire days knocking and talking without any success, it's easy to forget how thrilling the message of His infinite love really is. But it is SO real and SO good and only takes an upward and outward gaze to get the song stuck right back in our heads.

And today, I'm singing!

We are seeing so many miracles, and what's even more beautiful is that they are specific miracles of progression with our wonderful friends we're working with. I'm stoked about it!

First, M. She's the cutest little stay at home mom of one adorable baby from Honduras. She LOVES the Lord and has incredible insights on lots of gospel topics. As we've been meeting with her, we've definitely felt the spirit but she just doesn't keep commitments. She's super Cristiana, and decided she was going to go back to her church. As we were planning what to do for her, the lesson just wasn't sitting right with us. I asked if there was a video we could show her, and Hna Beckstead suggested "The Will of God", the one about the gardener cutting down the little current bush. We went right over to her house and spoke with her. At the end, I knew we were supposed to give her a baptismal date, but I was a little baby about it. Super scared. As I tried to end the lesson with any other words, I simply choked on them as they came out. It was incredibly weird. So I just said, what the heck. And invited her with a date and she said yes and HEAVENLY FATHER KNOWS WHATS BEST. 

Secondly, M's brother C. He's the one that had read the Testimony of Joseph Smith as a youth in Honduras, right? But literally every time we teach him he's like yeah, yeah, loving it until we invite him to baptism and he's like, "what have I told you? I'm not getting baptized again!" And do we were out with a member, cute Hermana Lenox, and the less active we were visiting didn't answer the door. So we're like, 'where to?' And she suggests we try another less active, so we head over there, but as were driving over Hna Beckstead and I both felt like we should go visit M. We visit her instead and C is there! So we share the bible video where Jesus heals a man blind from birth, telling him to go and wash and be healed and the spirit was SO strong and we discussed the beauty of action and following the example of Jesus Christ and he said he would 'possibly' be baptized and Hermana Beckstead and I danced out the door with baby tears in our eyes. There's just something special about him that we can feel as we teach. ALSO he came to church and participated like a champion and #happydays!

On the way home from the lesson, we checked our phone and.. What do you know? Call from our dear President! Hna Beckstead is getting transferred and I am going to stay here in Charlottesville and train a newborn English sister baby! ..What? There's a super crazy influx of sisters but no hermanas coming in so, here we go! Haha. Good thing Burkeville taught me to love English speaking people too! God knows what he's doing. ☺️ 

So much love!

Hermana Yost 

Letter #37 06/22/15

My cute comp and our step mom, Hermana Kingsley.  Being a Spanish Missionary
is so fun because the companion family tree is all intertwined.

The place in which I live. #treehugger #HeavenlyFatherknowsus perfectly

This week was completely 100% without question the weirdest one I've
had as a missionary ever ever. Every single day we would come home and
say, that was the most random completely crazy weird day that we have
ever had.. And then the following one beat it.


We got to spend our weekend basking in the beauty of meeting after
meeting with Elder Perkins of the quorum of the 70 and his incredible
wife! I learned so so so much, my head and heart is so full of the
love and also of the expectations that our Father in Heaven has for
us. He is able and willing to do His part in helping us succeed, but
we have to be willing to seek to understand and DO His will. But as we
do that, we become the humans that he created us to be. He did not
create us to fail, but to succeed gloriously! And He is there every
step of the way.

And I've gotta living proof! So yesterday was stake conference, but
before the meeting Elder Perkins held a short q&a meeting for recent
converts, investigators and returning members. We had two
investigators that were coming, Saul and Carlos, but at 9:00 neither
of them had shown up.  So we head into the meeting when we realize
that nobody has set up translation equipment for the main meeting! So
we run and do that and by the time we're done it's like 9:15 and
they've started the meeting and we feel awkward walking in. So we go
back to greet some early comers in the chapel when we go talk to this
awesome member, who tells us that we should just go into the meeting
and that it'll be okay. But we walk by the door and still feel weird.
So we decide to go outside and see if our investigators are maybe
waiting out there, but we can't see their cars so we decide to say a
quick prayer. As we open our eyes, who pulls in but a recent convert,
Victor, and his roommate, Abel... An investigator we haven't been able
to teach all week!! Okay, way cool. So we walk into the meeting late
with them and not two seconds after we walk in the question is asked
about how someone can know if they're ready to receive the Melchesidek
Priesthood.. The EXACT thing that Victor has been struggling with. Can
you say 'the Lord's timing'?! It was just incredible to see how it all
panned out. If we had gone into the meeting on time, they wouldn't
have known where it was being held and would have missed it. I cannot
and will not every get over how perfectly God knows His children.

I am so grateful to be serving at this time. A Mother Teresa quote for
good measure:

I am just a little pencil in the hands of a writing God who is sending
a love letter to the world. 

I'm so grateful to be that little pencil! His hand really is in every
aspect of our lives. I love Him!

♻️ Hermana Yost

Letter #36 06/16/15

These Hermana's hit their halfway mark!

This week was one of those weeks where you just feel like you learn and grow so much and pass over another mission hurdle. I read a talk about a missionary's whose sort of 'anthem' was that he 'feared no man'. I've been really focusing on this as my mantra and looking to the Lord in every thought! Life is happy when we choose only to look up.

Miracles were prevalent, as always, this week. Here's a neat one:

We have been feeling lately like we really need to clean out the investigator pool that's been growing and growing as we keep finding like mad. Like, there are still people I've never gotten to meet. So yesterday we decided to visit all these humans and determine where they're at in terms of conversion. After several doors not opening and a few, "thanks, but no thanks" we got in the car, drenched in sweat mind you #humidity, to meet up with a cute member and visit some more. As we walk up to the door, a friend of the ladies answers, telling us that she's not home. He's not super interested, but we're able to bear testimony of God's love and get his number. As we're walking back to the car, we spot this older Hispanic looking guy in a construction vest sitting outside. We decide to go up and talk to him. His name's H and he is completely made of gold. He practically led the lesson of the restoration with his insights and questions. The spirit was SO strong. It was the neatest thing. As we invited him to read the Book of Mormon, he was just like, "Something inside's telling me that I need to know if it's true". 

Okay, fast forward to our return appointment 2 days later.. We have Vilma with us, the perfect fellowshipper for him, ready for the lesson of a lifetime! And.. He's not there. We knock we call we cry.. Nada. This elect human is quite literally no where to be found and, yeah. Not cool. But then we're like, ya know what, let's go try the lady who wasn't home last time that lives next door! So we walk on over there but as we approach the door Vilma begins to take a phone call by the tree in the front yard. So B answers the door and asks us if the lady by the tree is with us.. Vilma gets off the phone and comes to the door and, turns out they lived together 8 years ago as roommates! What in the world. There was no explanation but that the Lord's hand is real and ready to help us help His children! 

Also, as you may or may not know, the lions mane is no longer. I don't know if it was a mid mission crisis or what but.. Here we are. I feel so free and sometimes feel like a 90's Meg Ryan which is completely fine by me.

I love being a missionary! Sweaty Virginia summer life is happier than you might think. ☺️

So much love,

Hermana Yost

Odds and ends:

We play soccer every Thursday with the group and investigators and I was seriously stinking really bad. Like, so lurpy and just plain embarrassing. But then one of the group members made some comment that it was unfair that they had both of the mujeres (Hna Beckstead and I) on their team and.. I proceeded to make like 5 goals. #thefeministfireisaliveandwell

Enviado desde mi iPad

Letter #35 06/08/15

Well, hello friends!

 Emailing has been crazy today because I was trying so hard to figure out how to use technology again (ie: IPADS) but eventually was forced to give up as I realized the alotted 1.5 hours was not gonna cut it as I plucked away at the screen, autocorrect becoming my worst enemy. Haha, the struggle is realer than real. BUT the iPads have been such a blessing this week! Studies are HEAVENLY with the entire gospel library at our fingertips. I have realized how little I actually used this wonderful tool before the mission and in turn, realized the great need to repent. 

And, as we find in Mosiah 18:20

Yea, even he commanded them that they should preach nothing save it were repentance and faith on the Lord, who had redeemed his people.

..my purpose as a missionary is to call people to repentance. So, don't you wait another second! Download the gospel library app and watch the spirit flow right into your lives! Haha, it's a dream. My favs of the moment are. 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/latter-day-saints-keep-on-trying?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/where-justice-love-and-mercy-meet?lang=eng

And, from the looks of the favorites of the moment, the journey to understanding the grace and mercy and forgiveness and understanding of God continues. It's so interesting, sometimes your battle really is against the self that you know you are but don't want to be. I continue to be grateful for a loving Heavenly Father and Savior who understand us and our challenges.

One crazy hard thing that happened this week, we ran into easily the most anti human I have ever met. This whole morning/afternoon of tracting had just really been hitting us hard as quite literally EVERY human wanted nothing to do with the restored gospel or any of that jazz. And then we knocked on this door and he just started tearing us apart. We would try to testify, and he just knocked us down. I knew it was the adversary working as he so pointedly, almost off topically, mentioned certain things I have really struggled with through my life. As we left him, we stopped to say a prayer. I cried through the whole prayer. As we walked away, there was a nice tree that was split from the trunk. I looked at Hermana Beckstead and said, "Okay, Hermana. I walk through this tree and forget everything that ever happened.." and then I did. Haha, it kinda worked too! She thinks i'm nuts. Heavenly Father is good to us. As the day went on, he blessed us with tender mercies and showed us he really was there. It also gave me some time to reflect on my testimony. I know this is the truest thing that ever was! There is such a unique difference you can feel. The spirit just tells you. 

Miracles this week, too! SO yesterday we went back to teach this nice fellow, C. We had quickly taught him the Sunday before, showed him the Because He Lives video, but it was kind of an "eh, so-so.. I work a lot so I don't know if I have time to come unto Christ" sort of thing. Before leaving, we committed him to read The Resoration Pamphlet and pray about it. As we began to teach him (and his sister! :) yesterday, he told us that as he read the pamphlet, he remembered something from when he was like 10 years old back in Honduras. Missionaries had visited his house and left a pamphlet with the testimony of Joseph Smith! He had read it and had been really interested. This lesson was totally different. He willingly responded to the baptismal invite and there was just something different about him. It was incredible to see that the Holy Ghost really does bring things to our remembrance, and in doing so, helps us on our way. 

I am so grateful for this time I have to truly be molded by the master! He views us with the eyes of who we can BECOME. I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to truly become something. And we all do. It's neat! 

Okay, so much love! :)

Hermana Yost

Odds and ends:

+ Someone we taught this week told us that, as she understood it, the word "mormon" just meant any missionary that ever knocked on your door in Honduras. She didn't even know that was the nickname of the church, hahahah. 

Letter #34 06/01/15

Okay, okay. WELL. This week was really so neat. It started out completely crazy because preparation day was changed to Tuesday. It's crazy how into the mission routine you become and when one thing's out of place it's like the end of the world for a second. BUT all was well. We went to the downtown mall with our dear friend Scarlet and ate Gelato, talked to this lady from England in an art gallery about the earth and her knitting with dog/rabbit fur, bought some shoes (.. sorry mom) and found the NEATEST little vintage store hidden away in this like underground tunnel. Okay, Charlottesville is neat. BUT that's not even the neatest part. It's been so cool for me to see that all of these things I loved before, and still love, really do pale in comparison to the simple spirit found in a powerful lesson or the joy that comes from seeing an investigator progress. This work is unbelievably fun.

So after Pday on Tuesday we had the CRAZIEST night planned and we ended up getting really behind on our schedule. Something I've really struggled with on the mission is the expectation of being perfect. I know as a representative of Jesus Christ that's something I need to strive to be, but as humans we all have little faults and weaknesses and as Hermana Yost I have SO many and I constantly am feeling like I can't measure up to this missionary human that the Lord/world expects me to be. And so, we made mistakes. Over the crazy course of the night, we were late to a really important appointment. I was frustrated and heartbroken, knowing that I let people down and more importantly, I let my Savior down. But something incredible happened. As we began to teach the lesson, earnestly praying for His spirit, His power to help us, it did. He was there. His power made up for everything that we lacked. His spirit was present and He carried us through. 

His atonement is REAL. His grace is sufficient. We will never be enough, but because of His sacrifice, because of His unending love and mercy and grace He fills in every gap. He loves us anyway. He wants us to succeed, notwithstanding the fact that we continually fall. He wants us to become something. It doesn't matter who we've been, or even who are. What he really cares about is who we are willing to become with His help. 

The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can go home but that—miraculously—we can feel at home there. If Heavenly Father and His Son did not require faith and repentance, then there would be no desire to change.... If the Father and the Son did not require covenants and bestow the gift of the Holy Ghost, then there would be no way to change. We would be left forever with only willpower, with no access to His power. If Heavenly Father and His Son did not require endurance to the end, then there would be no internalization of those changes over time. They would forever be surface and cosmetic rather than sinking inside us and becoming part of us—part of who we are. Put simply, if Jesus didn’t require practice, then we would never become Saints.

Grace is not a booster engine that kicks in once our fuel supply is exhausted. Rather, it is our constant energy source. It is not the light at the end of the tunnel but the light that moves us through the tunnel. Grace is not achieved somewhere down the road. It is received right here and right now.

And He will give us this grace. This power we receive from a continued relationship with Him. His spirit will come in abundance as we simply take the moment to humble ourselves before him, be "completely transparent" as Elder Zwick of the quorum of the seventy explained in a conference we had on Friday, and allow him to transform us. Transforming our lives, our situation, our hearts.

He is so good. As I've tried to do this this week we have seen incredible miracles. A prompting of "you're super dehydrated Hermana Yost, go to the mexican tienda and buy some water" turned into confirming a later appointment, finding a less active we've had a hard time contacting, finding a new investigator and teaching a lesson to a part member family in which we were able to find his need and help him to come to Sacrament Meeting this week and be able to finally understand through the translation equipment he didn't know existed. 

He will make something incredible of each and every one of us. 

His love his REAL. And there are no limits. We are never too far.

I love Him and I LOVE His work! 

<3 Hermana Yost