So after Pday on Tuesday we had the CRAZIEST night planned and we ended up getting really behind on our schedule. Something I've really struggled with on the mission is the expectation of being perfect. I know as a representative of Jesus Christ that's something I need to strive to be, but as humans we all have little faults and weaknesses and as Hermana Yost I have SO many and I constantly am feeling like I can't measure up to this missionary human that the Lord/world expects me to be. And so, we made mistakes. Over the crazy course of the night, we were late to a really important appointment. I was frustrated and heartbroken, knowing that I let people down and more importantly, I let my Savior down. But something incredible happened. As we began to teach the lesson, earnestly praying for His spirit, His power to help us, it did. He was there. His power made up for everything that we lacked. His spirit was present and He carried us through.
His atonement is REAL. His grace is sufficient. We will never be enough, but because of His sacrifice, because of His unending love and mercy and grace He fills in every gap. He loves us anyway. He wants us to succeed, notwithstanding the fact that we continually fall. He wants us to become something. It doesn't matter who we've been, or even who are. What he really cares about is who we are willing to become with His help.
The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can go home but that—miraculously—we can feel at home there. If Heavenly Father and His Son did not require faith and repentance, then there would be no desire to change.... If the Father and the Son did not require covenants and bestow the gift of the Holy Ghost, then there would be no way to change. We would be left forever with only willpower, with no access to His power. If Heavenly Father and His Son did not require endurance to the end, then there would be no internalization of those changes over time. They would forever be surface and cosmetic rather than sinking inside us and becoming part of us—part of who we are. Put simply, if Jesus didn’t require practice, then we would never become Saints.
Grace is not a booster engine that kicks in once our fuel supply is exhausted. Rather, it is our constant energy source. It is not the light at the end of the tunnel but the light that moves us through the tunnel. Grace is not achieved somewhere down the road. It is received right here and right now.
And He will give us this grace. This power we receive from a continued relationship with Him. His spirit will come in abundance as we simply take the moment to humble ourselves before him, be "completely transparent" as Elder Zwick of the quorum of the seventy explained in a conference we had on Friday, and allow him to transform us. Transforming our lives, our situation, our hearts.
He is so good. As I've tried to do this this week we have seen incredible miracles. A prompting of "you're super dehydrated Hermana Yost, go to the mexican tienda and buy some water" turned into confirming a later appointment, finding a less active we've had a hard time contacting, finding a new investigator and teaching a lesson to a part member family in which we were able to find his need and help him to come to Sacrament Meeting this week and be able to finally understand through the translation equipment he didn't know existed.
He will make something incredible of each and every one of us.
His love his REAL. And there are no limits. We are never too far.
I love Him and I LOVE His work!
<3 Hermana Yost
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